In Memoriam.

Okay, nobody really died. One of the copywriters at my agency left. This made Sandy, an art director really upset. You do remember Sandy, right? Well Sandy aspired to be more than an art partner for this copywriter. He wanted to be his life partner. Fortunately for the copywriter and unfortunately for Sandy, things didn't work out. So Sandy was looking glum from the past few days. That's why I made this little installation for him and stuck it on the soft board of his desk. He can now easily add more tissues to the soft board and cry his heart out.

The World's First Do It Yourself Scrunchy.

What you see in this picture is no ordinary scrunchy. I was fortunate enough to spot it the other day on my colleagues's desk. This scrunchy will revolutionise the way you tie your hair. What's more, it's completely Do It Yourself. All you have to do is pick up a scrub pad. Any garden variety one will do. Then carefully cut right through its centre and what you will be left with is a rock hard scrunchy. So say goodbye to those old elastic scrunchies that aren't elastic after sometime. Make your own scrunchy with a scrub pad and change the way you tie your hair. 

Keep out of the reach of children.
They might just mistake it for a Mendu Vada.

How to Ruin a Perfectly Sweet Birthday Greeting.

So my co-worker Sandeep is kind of a jerk. The first one to pick on the newbies at work. Always ready to play some cruel trick. Needless to say, I stepped in to mete out justice. Someone had to. Evil after all should be expelled with evil. Yes, I read too many comic books while growing up. Your concern actually appalls me. Anywho, so when Sandeep got a sweet greeting from the company wishing him on his birthday, I made a few modifications to make the greeting even more accurate.

The word I omitted out was 'Never'.
Dedicated to writing honest copy since 14 century BC.

Thank You, Kind Stranger for Making My Monday Memorable.

Excuse me if I go a little Blanche DuBois on you right now. I came to work today feeling slightly downbeat. The mere sound of Mondays doesn't put me in my best moods. Add to it the fact that I had slept late last night. An odd masochistic ritual I repeat diligently every Sunday. I came in thinking, 'Damn, this is going to be one long week' and then I found this on my table.

The Anniversary edition of Harper's was on my desk and the lovely bikini-clad Katrina Kaif on the cover was telling me, 'Listen buddy, if I can get through making my debut with Bad Man Gulshan Grover, you can get through Monday.' I guess when a super-hot bikini clad model with mediocre acting skills says things like these, you just have to agree.

I asked around later who left the copy on my desk. (If you go through my blog, you will realise that this sort of a thing happens a lot at my office.) Surprisingly no one had a clue. Some kind stranger decided to cheer me up by leaving it on my desk. To thee, dear stranger, I solemnly thank. I will also have you know that am partial to Chitrangada Singh though. 

What Happens When the Art Director Has a Go at the Copy

Those not aware of Helvetica, here's a small intro. Helvetica is possibly the most popular font of our times. It's ubiquitous, business like without being boring and a whole bunch of brands, right from Apple to a couple of major financial conglomerates use it. Most if not all art directors adore it. You can use it on everything - right from your resume to the centerfold for Playboy and it will never look odd. Which brings me to the point of this Facebook post - some helvetica loving art director decided to dabble with copy and viola, this piece of brilliance came into being. Lesson learnt - never let an art director write copy.

Nah, it's never gonna be 'More Perfect' than Georgia. 

It's not surprising that whenever my art partners see the doodles I make while thinking or for explaining a particular concept, they are left fuming too. Here's an example. You see that thing down there? It's supposed to be an eagle.

Pretty much nailed it, didn't I?

PS: This is all in jest! I need you, Mr/Miss Art Director to ask me to trim that headline and you need me to tell you to go easy on the helvetica. And with some practice and help, we can do each other's jobs and make the work better too. So let's get together and make something better than this piece of turd here. Of course am not talking about my awesome eagle doodle.

I Work with the Nicest Account Executive!

I mean, sure he has good intentions and all, but the only task he has managed to finish between 7 t0 9, is the 9th one. And he isn't even playing the best Govinda songs. The man didn't even bother with Coolie No. 1 OST. What is up with that? Regardless, he does have some good intentions.

Advertising needs more men like these. Heck, copywriters need more such executives. 

The Boss Knows Best!

If you play your cards right or if plain dumb luck favours you, you will find the right boss. A boss who inspires you, guides you and shows you the way. And if you are like this colleague of mine, whose boss is too busy to show her the ropes, you can take the path she took. Which is to literally follow one's boss every step of the way. 

                                  PS: You are better off watching the video in full screen. 

The Beginner's Guide to Bugging One's Colleagues - Part II

Remember those Christmas mornings when you woke up and ran straight downstairs to find your presents neatly wrapped and placed by the Christmas tree? Well, I never had such a Christmas. I was raised in a Hindu family which took a low-key approach to even Hindu celebrations, let alone Christmas. This and a few more things have turned my soul into black-hole of despair and angst. Which in turn leads me to leave magazines with lurid covers on my colleague's desk and stick inappropriate post-its on them.

Fellow netizens, I will continue giving you useful tips for harassing your colleagues and if you keep going at it as diligently as I have, the end result will look something like this.

Your colleague will feel like burying
 himself under some foamcore.

Find the first part of this series here.

The Beginners Guide to Bugging One's Colleagues.

What do you do when your colleague leaves some loose change on his desk and rushes off to a meeting? Well, if you are as devious as me, you leave him a congratulatory note like this one.

The post it reads: 'Congrats on the raise.'

That awkward moment when your phone asks you to rediscover the meaning of life.

Is it just another IT error or is this the profound message
 that will change the course of my life? 

Now I know how Neo must have felt during the whole blue pill/red pill scene.